Something Approximating an Origin Story

My friend Ryan wrote this as the first comment to this blog.  I think it deserves to be framed, but here it is as its own post.

I piled a million pesos up and purchased a straw hat.  Six years later I used that straw hat to search for gold.

I found gold and it was American, by god it was American.  I was a great man, at least in Taiwan.  For the good of mankind, I stole an island and became a space pirate looting and pillaging the stars from my island, which had no air.

I never stole any air.  I lived to loot and pillage spacetime for approximately eight minutes.

Does it make any more sense to you than it does to me?  If so, post a comment.  In any case, I think it’s a lovely story.